Aiyaiyai

Sorry guys! Currently, I don't have any time for blogging!

There is so much stuff going on, not only with university and music, but also in my life. It's been really crazy and I've got to know many new things, that I have to think about before I can share them with anyone else.

Anyway ... tomorrow Renai Revolution will have a concert at Ongaku Matsuri! I've just practiced and I made some mistakes. Damn it, I AM SO NERVOUS!!! Haaa ... wish me luck.

Going to the movies now.><

New Year's resolutions

2012 is here! Am I happy? Not so sure 'bout that... Time is flying by and every new year, means one less for me...
Who cares, it's not like I can do anything about it!!

Do you made any pledges? I think New Year is the best time to start being the person you want to be. Maybe start a new hobby or set a goal or working on your character. In my opinion, people, who think they've build a good enough self, are just lazy or plain stupid!

Anyway, what are my resolutions?

01. Meet new people and make new friends! No, I don't mean to exchange my current friends, but in 2011 I've learned, that there is nothing more important than connections! Whenever you need something, it's best to know someone, "who can help you with it." Like why not meet people from all over the world or many different jobs?? Maybe someday you'll need a great lawyer and you're lucky and have one in your friend list? Who knows?

02. Sell a book. Sounds weird, but that's basically it. This year, for the mother of God, I'm going to finish a book and hopefully find a publisher. I know I can do it and I will do it! Even bought a net book and build some free periods in my schedule, so I'll work.
Damn it! I want something, I can be proud of!!!
Lots of people tell me, I've already reached a lot ... Got good A-levels, got into university, had a stay abroad, seen a big part of the world, founded an awesome group and fought my demons.
But is it enough? I don't feel it is, there gotta be more.

03. Survive the first semester and find some joy in studying. Currently it's not that clear. I kinda like going to college, but I'm not used to all the work, that I awaits me at home. I can't wait for next semester, cause then I'll finally learn something about New History ... Bye Bye Middle Ages!!

04. Bring Renai Revolution to a new level. 2011 was really good for us. I don't think many showgroups manage it to get a sponsor, appear in a magazine and have several performances in their debut year. 2012 will be even better, because we'll have more magazine appearances, make a CD and try to knock on some big doors.
Hopefully, we can get some more fans, that'll be great!!

05. Don't gain any weight. Most people try to loose weight, but I'm happy as long as I don't gain it! Sometimes holding your weight can be a challenge as well.

06. Read a lot more. Last year I've read only a few books, I'm a little sad.

07. Go out more often! I really like to meet my friends more often, but I'm so tired of always being the one, who asks them out. So maybe this year, why don't you invite me from time to time?

08. Go to Japan. Actually something I've wanted to achieve last year ... and I was so close, already had the tickets... but then ... oh my. Well this year is the year!

09. Wear Lolita more often and get some new things. Yeah ... explains itself, right?

10. Do something about that sleeping problem...

I think, that's enough for now. Wow, 10 pledes, I hope I can fulfill them! I'm going to do my best.

End of the year

Oh well, Christmas is over and I'm really pumped out...

Also, my holidays aren't very relaxing. I might have had one week more of free days, but every day is filled with book reports, reviews, discussion papers or oral presentation. It's like school's mocking me: "You have more free days to work at home!"

And worse: First schoolday in the new year will be January, 2nd ... every prof canceled its lesson ... except for the first one, which is at 8am! I'm so pissed. -_-

But before that, there are a few days left, that I can use to ... uh ... learn... I hate my life.

New Year's Eve is near, too. Somehow, this year I didn't make any plans at all and let it just coming. Really a lot of people asked me, if I wanted to join them and I was always like: "Ah, well, I'll think about it", because I had my mind somewhere else in the clouds.

Now I kinda missed the train, damn it! oO

Let's see, what I'm going to do about it...

Oh and by the way, check this out! The best Christmas Carol (although Christmas is over ... ah, what the heck) in the world:

Democracy and Oligarchy

Today in college we've learned the differences of democracy and oligarchy (everything else, that's not democracy) ... not specifically what they are, because we all know that, but how they emerged in Ancient Greece. It was really interesting and my prof is so into the topic, he makes it actually quite fun!

Like today, he told the story of a people's spokesperson, who was going to be executed. But the night before he was so drunk, that he couldn't leave his house and the people murdered someone else, who they thought was him. The next day, they realized they got the wrong guy and the right one was still there!

Lucky guy... he lived because he drank too much.

Anyway, I think this might be a possible topic for our examination in February. Differences between the two things, maybe with the examples of Athens and Sparta. Hm, wouldn't be all too bad, I think I could do it...

So boring, so boring... and a little Lolita

What can I say?? I REALLY WANT TO BLOG MORE! But I don't know what I can talk about...

Currently, my whole life is just so boring.

Studying, training, rehearsal, studying, training, rehearsal, studing, traning reharsal, sting, tring, resal ... oi vey

IT'S JUST SO BORING!!!

Talking about university really isn't that interesting at all. I have to read a lot and when I'm done with that, I have to read some more...

In my Ancient World seminar we're currently talking about the conflict between Octavian and Antonius, which rings no bells in your mind, right?

It's actually not that bad at all... the main point is all about women during that time and I also have to read this book:

Which is quite good. So far, I've read like 1/3 of the book but I'll keep reading, so next weekend I'll be through half way.

In my Middle Ages seminar we're always talking about the 14th century, which is the topic. Currently we're talking about epidemics. It's really interesting, but also extremely disgusting, too.

Did you know, that the big Black Death epidemic, that killed like 1/3 of the European people, very likely wasn't the Black Death, but another much more dangerous desease.

Most people don't like history, but when you look at it from another point of view, it's often like solving ancient mysteries!

What else?

Oh right! I'll be going to Disney on Ice!! I'm so happy! I'm sure I'll be like the oldest "kid" but it doesn't matter to me.

This year's theme is "Princesses and Heroes", which sounds really cheesy and for girls.

I don't like the "Disney Princesses" concept very much, because I think a girl should slay her own dragons, but what the heck!

I'm sure the music will be great and there'll be some awesome iceskating involved! I hope they'll have Stitch, he always makes my day, but I doubt it... he's not very princessy...

I've also had a new Lolita shooting. It's Classic Lolita again and I feel like they're trying to pigeonhole me as a certain age type.

I really want to wear Sweet Lolita, too!! I'm still a girl! Please stop dressing me like a matron. Not always classic, not always dark colors, not always weird sleeve lengths! Please, either a JSK or an OP ... not these middle sleeves, I never know if I have to wear a blouse or not!

Ha well ... at least, I've managed to get a cute Country Lolita dress ... but it's almost December, damn it! oO

University Start and KONEKO

As I've told you before, Monday was my very first university day.

The last two days were so damn exhausting, I haven't had any time to blog - all my freetime went to creating a schedule, finding the right paths and not losing my mind.

It's SO confusing ... when I'm looking at the past two days, I just want to quit the shit ... but whatelse should I do?? I have to get a grip of my life, right? Can't keep on being a baby forever... damn it. T_T

So on Monday, I went to the first events, where they welcome you, give you some presents (a fancy fabric bag and other stuff) and try to take your fears ... which they really suck at.
Then, right afterwards, I had my first actvities in history, met some new people and a girl I hang out with the day ... sometimes I can't believe how easy it is to get to know people ... or maybe that's just me.

They tried to explain the schedule to us ... in German universities, for most subjects, you have to create you own schedule from scratch. Some (like physics or buisness studies) get finished schedules but I didn't. I have to check what I can do and check my study points and what to do when and how much of it and get signaturs and yeah, basically I hate everything about it. Maybe studying wasn't the right thing to do after all.

Well, I'm going to hang on for at least one year and if I'm still hating it, I have to look for something else to do with my life.

But now to something nice!!!

Today was the release of Koneko, a European magazine, that me and my group Renai Revolution are in! I've already bought it haha.

Bitte kauft euch die Koneko! Damit unterstützt ihr nicht nur Renai Revolution, ihr habt auch die Chance, bis zu 3 Kleider zu gewinnen!
Andernfalls, geht einfach auf diesen Link, dort erfahrt ihr auch die Teilnahmebedinungen:

http://girls.subarashi.de/2011/10/koneko-subarashi-gewinnspiel-sexy-boy/

I also got a book, I've ordered a while ago!

I'm really happy about it, because Aoki Misako is really one of my favourite Lolita models!
Unfortunately my friend Laureen received the same book shortly after and I could have borrowed it! T_T

Renai Birthday and University fears

As I've told you before, on Thursday was my group's birthday and yesterday we all went to celebrate.
Well ... sadly not all, two couldn't make it.

Gena, Laureen and I went together, because we've spend the afternoon with sewing ... or rather Gena, who actually knows what she's doing, tried to beat some skills into us ... sorry for being bothersome!

Like last year, we went to Ishin restaurant, because it's good and not too expensive!
Haaa... and it was GOOD!

All in all, we were Gena, Giny, Nikki, Mina, Laureen and I. Nice group of 6 people.


But a bigger problem is on its way. Tomorrow I'm enrolling in university and I'm really scared!!
Not if people will be nice and such.

I'm continuously asking myself: "Was it the right decision?" "Should I've chosen an apprenticeship?" "Am I studying the right subjects?" "Can I handle the work?" "Can I make it in 3 years?" "Do I actually know how to learn after over 3 years?" "Will I be successfull?" "Am I ruining my damn life?!"

I am so scared ... I've had so much time and still I can't believe, it's already tomorrow. Time really flies in the blink of an eye.

I hope, I can finally be happy...